The Solid Rock Road recovery team has heard it all! People who aren't ready to change blame their relapse on everything and everyone but themselves. Even when they admit they blew it, they justify their actions and blame-shift.
At a conference in Seattle that The Solid Rock Road team attended, the speaker asked the audience what the opposite of learning was. We all looked at each other, but none of us could answer it. Then he said something that confirmed what we’ve been teaching in our recovery ministry from the day God called us into it. “The opposite of learning is blaming,” he said.
As recovery counselors, we often do more listening than talking. We can tell when someone has had enough of their addiction and its consequence, and when they haven't. We hear and see repentance, and we can spot those who aren't finished taking and blaming.
When people blame others for their problems and addictions, they aren’t learning the lessons God is trying to teach them. And since God never gives up on the lesson, they will go around the same mountain a million times until He thinks they get it.
The following are some of the main excuses Christians have for their relapse. We gathered these by asking and listening to the truth behind it all.
• No one will know. I can get away with it.
• No one really cares.
• I’m only hurting myself.
• My family and friends will forgive me in the end.
• God will forgive me, so why not?
• I’m bored and lonely.
• I’m hurt or angry and I’ll show them.
• I can’t stand the pain anymore.
• People are always hurting or burning me.
• I don’t know what else to do.
• I can’t help myself.
• I’m one of those people who just can’t quit.
• I need to escape.
• I need one last fling and then it will be over.
• I’ve been good a long time so I deserve a good high.
• I need to remember how it feels to get high.
• Being a Christian is too hard.
• People are expecting way too much of me.
• I have too much pressure.
The bottom line is that everyone is busy, pressured, suffering, insecure, fearful and in need of a vacation from life. But we are called to be overcomers as Christians, and to be givers, not takers.
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