Top Excuses Christians Use to Relapse

The Solid Rock Road recovery team has heard it all! People who aren't ready to change blame their relapse on everything and everyone but themselves. Even when they admit they blew it, they justify their actions and blame-shift.

At a conference in Seattle that The Solid Rock Road team attended, the speaker asked the audience what the opposite of learning was. We all looked at each other, but none of us could answer it. Then he said something that confirmed what we’ve been teaching in our recovery ministry from the day God called us into it. “The opposite of learning is blaming,” he said.

As recovery counselors, we often do more listening than talking. We can tell when someone has had enough of their addiction and its consequence, and when they haven't. We hear and see repentance, and we can spot those who aren't finished taking and blaming.

When people blame others for their problems and addictions, they aren’t learning the lessons God is trying to teach them. And since God never gives up on the lesson, they will go around the same mountain a million times until He thinks they get it.

The following are some of the main excuses Christians have for their relapse. We gathered these by asking and listening to the truth behind it all.

•    No one will know. I can get away with it.
•    No one really cares.
•    I’m only hurting myself.
•    My family and friends will forgive me in the end.
•    God will forgive me, so why not?
•    I’m bored and lonely.
•    I’m hurt or angry and I’ll show them.
•    I can’t stand the pain anymore.
•    People are always hurting or burning me.
•    I don’t know what else to do.
•    I can’t help myself.
•    I’m one of those people who just can’t quit.
•    I need to escape.
•    I need one last fling and then it will be over.
•    I’ve been good a long time so I deserve a good high.
•    I need to remember how it feels to get high.
•    Being a Christian is too hard.
•    People are expecting way too much of me.
•    I have too much pressure.

The bottom line is that everyone is busy, pressured, suffering, insecure, fearful and in need of a vacation from life. But we are called to be overcomers as Christians, and to be givers, not takers.

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Winning the Battle of Addictions

There is a constant struggle going on inside your mind. It’s a war between your old and new self. For people with a history of relapse, the old self often wins. Since the old self is not redeemed, it is still of the world and controlled by Satan. If Satan controls your mind, he becomes the filter by which all information is received. Even the Word of God gets interpreted incorrectly.

Since our minds lead our actions, the devil knows that if we think bad thoughts, we’ll act badly. Joyce Meyer wrote a book called Battlefield of the Mind: Winning the Battle in Your Mind. In the first chapter, she explains that Satan is strategic and creates deliberates plans to defeat us.

Meyer brings this point home early in her book when she writes, “He (Satan) knows our insecurities, our weaknesses and our fears. He knows what bothers us most. He is willing to invest any amount of time it takes to defeat us. One of the devil’s strong points is patience.”

With such a patient devil, you must make up your mind to invest any amount of time it takes to defeat him! Even though you surrendered, Satan will wait for the right time to return as your master. He’ll wait until you’re tired, you’re showing signs of weakness, you’re having a moment of doubt, or someone at church offended you. He’ll wait years if he has to.

So far, you have let Satan win the battle of your mind. But if there is one concept you must believe, it’s that when you receive Jesus, you really are a new creation, and that all things really are brand new.

It’s time for you to embrace higher-level thinking so you can mature in Christ and live soberly. You can’t move forward if you’re looking back. You have to keep your eyes on tomorrow and trust that God is who He says He is.

Galatians 4:8-9 explains: “Formerly, when you did not know God, you were slaves to those who by nature are not gods. But now that you know God—or rather are known by God—how is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable principles? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again?” (NIV)

For information about The Solid Rock Road Christian recovery program and our recovery book titled Follow The Solid Rock Road: Pathway to Radical Recovery, check out our website at www.thesolidrockroad.com. You can also follow us on Facebook and Twitter.

A Note from the Director of the Solid Rock Road

After nine years in the Christian recovery ministry, I’ve made some observations about the addicts and their families. Here’s a brief summary:

The addicts
As a former addict who was delivered by the power of God, I wonder a lot about why Christians continue to struggle with addictions. Years ago, Pastor Steve Schmelzer asked this question during one of his sermons: “Do you want to know who makes it out of addictions and who doesn’t?” Of course I wanted to know, as did the rest of the congregation. He answered it so simply. “The givers make it, the takers don’t.”

That has stuck with me, and it has proven to be true. The goal of all Christians is to live an unselfish, service-filled life. That’s why the 10th Principal of The Solid Rock Road is “Serve God and others.” If you’re all about yourself, you can’t be all about God. Therefore, freedom from addictions comes when Christians put a stop to their lusts and start to put the needs of others in front of their own.

The families of the Addicts
Denial runs rampant in addicts, but it is also prevalent with their Christian families. In faith, they pray and believe that their loved ones will win the spiritual battle and get set free. Faith is necessary, and as the director of The Solid Rock Road, I count on it a lot. However, there comes a time when the loved ones are working harder on sobriety than the addicts. At this point, they become codependent and can often get in the way of what God is trying to do.

We have a heart for the families of addicts, but we are often in a position of counseling them to do the hard thing, which is to take their loved one to the cross and leave them there. This is grueling because it often means families have to step aside and watch as their loved ones hit bottom.

But isn’t that what happened in the story of the Prodigal Son? The father let the son make his choices. He didn't chase the son down, nor did he devise 101 ways to keep his son from blowing it. Most importantly, the father didn't bring groceries to the pig pen so that his son could eat. Instead, the father lived his life and waited for the son to come back to his senses, and then back home. Of course, there was a feast waiting for the humbled and repentant son.

The Bottom Line
God is in the deliverance, healing, restoring business, but God won’t supersede the will of man. Christians in addiction have rejected the ways of God in favor of their own lusts. The Solid Rock Road team can’t change a person’s mind, but we offer the truth in love and the principles necessary to win the spiritual battle.

If you or your loved one has been taken captive by addictions or you have found yourself in the midst of codependent behaviors, we offer guidance and help with our ministry and book. Visit www.thesolidrockroad.com, or follow us on Twitter and Facebook. You can also call me (Jerry Pineda, Sr.) directly at 541-778-8680.

Moving Toward Your Destiny in Christian Recovery

We have to get over ourselves so we can get to God. The devil uses proven tricks to keep you from moving to the next level with God, and he’s good at holding you back from your destiny.

How many times have you sought God and began to experience positive changes when all of a sudden you start to question everything? You begin to think negative thoughts, and say to yourself, “Who are you kidding? You’re a loser and always will be. You’re different from everyone else in church and no matter how hard you try, Christians will never accept or understand you. You’re a fake and a liar. The only people who understand you are your old friends. You relate to them. They are like you and you are like them.”

Any psychologist will tell you that your addiction is talking. While that’s a great recovery cliché, it’s not a Christian reality. In truth, the devil is reconnecting you with your sin nature, and with himself. He's telling lies and using his wiles to prevent your original God-given future from unfolding. Therefore, you must be sure to counteract every ungodly thought and forge ahead no matter what.

The Apostle Paul tells us in Philippians 3:14 that he pushed himself for a purpose. "I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." You would be wise to follow Paul's lead!

In the Solid Rock Road Christian recovery ministry, Principle #7 is Seek the Will of God for Your Life. This is a valuable principle because once you understand you have a destiny in God, you will take hold of the freedom God gives and you won't let go.

Follow me on Twitter at www.twitter.com/solidrockroad. Also, look for the ministry's book Follow the Solid Rock Road: Pathway to Radical Recovery.